the girl with violets in her lap

It is 1 am. Here is what I have been hearing outside my window for the last half hour:

RING-A-LING, VERY VERY LOUDLY: "...so my roommates are like TOTAL ALCOHOLICS and they get drunk like ALL THE TIME, and I don't mind so much I mean like because I get drunk sometimes too, right? But they get drunk like ALL THE TIME, and they're REALLY LOUD and sometimes, like? They're naked. I'm not shitting you, they come home and they just STRIP in the middle of the apartment and I'm like HELLO?! Like, I don't NEED to SEE that, mkay? So then I have to get them dressed and they're all -
[SFX: In rapid succession, we hear a ::skrinch::, a ::crsh:: and a squeal of tires.]
CAR ALARM 1: WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO
CAR ALARM 2: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
RING-A-LING, hollering, presumably to the car alarms: Hey, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
RANDOM GUY IN OTHER APARTMENT: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
RING-A-LING: HEY! SHUT UP YOUR FUCKING CAR!
RANDOM GUY: IT'S NOT MY FUCKING CAR!
RANDOM GUY 2 IT'S MY CAR! Hold on -
RING-A-LING: SHUT IT THE FUCK UP!
RANDOM GUY 1 OR 2: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
RING-A-LING: FUCK YOU!
CAR ALARM 1: ::falls silent::
CAR ALARM 2: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
RING-A-LING: FUCK!
A BUNCH OF DRUNK COLLEGE GUYS: ::are passing by::
A BUNCH OF DRUNK COLLEGE GUYS: ::start mimicking both Ring-a-ling and the car alarm::
ONE DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: Oh my GAHD, like shut the fuck UP!
YET ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY, whom I eventually concluded was laughing: Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH HOOH HOOH HOOH
STILL ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: Ah, man, I don't feel so -
DRUNK COLLEGE GUY #764: Oh, no, man, don't -
STILL ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: ::vomiting noises::
DRUNK COLLEGE GUY #764: Oh, man, NOT ON THE SUBARU! NOT ON THE FUCKING SUBARU, MAN!
CAR ALARM 2: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
YET ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH!
KYLIE: ::buries her head under the pillow and prays for the apocalypse::

That's life in a student ghetto for you, I guess.