the girl with violets in her lap

So I've been playing Sims again. Sims 3, this time.

( f!pregnant Nina, friendless Evita, Don Juan Quixote and Sweeney Todd in srs sunglasses )

So! Sims 3. Here are things about it.

I do not have the money for Sims 3 on the computer -- well, correction; we probably could swing it if I really cared to buy it, but I don't. My Sims obsession is very intermittent anyway, so if we bought Sims 3, two things could happen: one, I could find that I didn't like it much more than Sims 2, in which case it would be a waste, or two, I could find that I liked it much more than Sims 2 and would wind up wasting tons of time playing it, in which case it would be more than a waste. Basically there's no upside to upgrading, so we're not.

Lately, though, I'm finding myself using actual computers less and less, because my Droid kind of does... everything. Seriously. I can't think offhand of a thing that I have tried to get my Droid to do that it won't do. I do my writing on real computers*, but that's about it. Email, news, Facebook, Twitter, web browsing -- if I used to do it on a computer, I probably do it on the Droid now. I even figured out how to post LJ polls from my Droid the other day! Sweet.

Another excellent side-effect of my Droid addiction is that I now have the attention span of a coked-up fruit fly when it comes to interacting with actual life, so I have to have lots of games to play to fill in any of those tiresome spots in your day where things go a little quiet and you would have had to actually, like, have thoughts and stuff in the pre-technology world. Technology has happily resolved this concern, which is why I have lots of Droid games and why I wound up downloading Sims 3 for the Droid last night. I was kind of pleased with myself, actually. Obviously it's not going to be a match for the real Sims 3 graphically, and I figured a lot of the inventory options and stuff would be scaled down in order to save space, but I wanted to fool around with the new personality options they have (you can give your Sims character traits now! Like real people!...) and the new interactions with other Sims. Plus you can just walk around your neighborhood in Sims 3, and talk to people, and... generally do things not inside your house! This is badass, you guys.

So I downloaded Sims 3. And, you know, it's not a bad adaptation of the game for a cell phone. If you speak Portuguese.

Okay, okay. I don't technically speak Portuguese. But I speak some Spanish, which is almost like Portuguese. And when the game asks you what language you would like to use, English is not an option. Or Spanish. Or Italian. Or French. Or... anything with which I have more familiarity than Portuguese. So! Portuguese it is. Here is what has happened so far:

( sims português quer que eu tomar cuidado com os macacos )

__________________________________

*Except that sometimes I apparently write fanfiction on the notepad app on my Droid. And I say "apparently" because it seems that I do it WHILE I AM ASLEEP. I've long known that my sleep meds sometimes put me into this weird netherland between sleep and waking where I'm capable of having conversations that I don't remember later, and for awhile I used to have a sleep-tweeting problem, until I put the phone far enough from the bed to break the habit. But the other day I went to make a note in the notepad on my Droid and found three full paragraphs of an In the Heights fanfic¹, featuring Vanessa and some OC whose gender I am unsure of because their name is JJ and I never used a pronoun. It doesn't exactly have a stellar plot (Vanessa barges out of the club during the blackout, walks into the spray of a popped hydrant and ruins her shoes, then bumps into this JJ person who I think was on the verge of making some smooth moves except I must have fallen asleep completely about then), but it was created at 1:13 in the morning on a weeknight and I don't remember writing it, which pretty conclusively makes it a sleep-fic. Just... what?

¹I've never written ITH fic before, either. I just don't even know.

Oh boy, you guys, oh boy. Spring has sprung, nature is bursting forth in full flower and beauty, gentle breezes play with your hair as you walk to your local CVS to ask for the umpteenth time if they have a new shipment of spring water in yet because your cats don't like boiled pond water and, come right down to it, neither do you. These are the days when the whole world calls you out into the glory of a new season! And so, my friends, I am once again wholly at the mercy of that old, irresistible compulsion. You got it:



It's Broadway Sim obsession time.

Look, guys, I can't explain why this thing eats my head periodically, okay? I don't know why I can go half a year at a time without even knowing where the CD is, and then all of a sudden something flicks over in my head and I spend three days grimly searching the Internet, subsisting on nothing but Diet Coke and a tub of old-fashioned pretzels, to see if maybe somebody has uploaded Bernadette Peters' hair yet. All I know is IT HAPPENS. And so pretty much all of that first paragraph is conjecture, because I have not been going out into the actual spring itself. I have been staring out the window at it in frustration every now and again while I try to figure out where I can get a giant bubble for Galinda.

( you know, I wouldn't post these things at all, except I know people actually read them. THEY DO! )

*I was able to eliminate dishwashing from my schedule because the state of Massachusetts told me I wasn't allowed to do it! OH PWN'D WEEKEND CHORES

I love Sims. Bitchy Annabelle is playing poker, for money, with her parents and Jane's aunt Amy. And as Annabelle deals, and let me emphasize that she is 15, she says to her parents, "So, I had sex on the school bus the other day." There's a pause, and then aunt Amy goes "On the school bus, huh? That's interesting. Did it require a spatula?" And Annabelle's all "No, no spatula." Then Calla, the mom, goes, apropos of nothing, "You know what I hate? Skiers." And Joran, her husband, is like "YEAH! SKIERS! Motherfuckers." And then Annabelle takes a hundred bucks off them in poker.

At least that's what I got from the little cartoon captions of their conversation.

Meanwhile Annabelle's ten-year-old little sister is cleaning the whole house. Because no one else will do it. Oh Sims.

DEAR SIMS PLEASE REGURGITATE MY HEAD ONE OF THESE DAYS

( CAPSLOCKED LJ-CUT TEXT )

CURRENT STATUS OF SIM KYLIE

SIM JEWEL: PALE YELLOW

ASPIRATION METER: RED
Note: Do not use Aspiration Rewards, as negative side effects may occur when used below platinum aspiration level

GENERAL NEEDS
Hunger: 70% - green
Comfort: 40% - yellow
Hygiene: 30% - yellow
Environment: 20% - yellow
Energy: 5% - critical red
Social: 0% - critical red
Fun: 0% - critical red

****VISIT FROM SOCIAL BUNNY IMMINENT****
****COLLAPSE/PASSING OUT IMMINENT****

KYLIE'S WANTS
-Sleep (6000 points)
-Use cocaine/amphetamines/"uppers" to stay awake (1000 points)
-See David Hyde Pierce and Edward Hibbert in Curtains (3000 points)
-Play Sims (750 points)

KYLIE'S FEARS
-Missing editing deadlines (-4000 points)
-Being called in to work extra shift at hotline (-6000 points)
-Passing out (-2000 points)

KYLIE'S RELATIONSHIPS
Relationship with λ: 100%, ♥, engaged
Relationship with LiveJournal: 75%
All other relationships: 0%

KYLIE SAYS:
Ahhhhm, hallooo?! Zissaroum?! ::waves arms, yawns, sways::

KYLIE'S THOUGHT BUBBLE:
Gravestone