(no subject)
Feb. 4th, 2009 10:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
slammerkinbabeI spent a few minutes surfing Google News this morning. Boy, did I learn a lot! Namely: the news is really, really boring today.
Because I'm just an all-around great kind of gal, I decided to help the news organizations out and hook them into some stories they could run that are not boring crap. These are the headlines I want to see, guys. I bet if you ran them, your readership would go up!
Obama on Economy: “God, Quit Whining, There Are Starving Kids in Africa”
Suggests Americans Donate Cars, Tanking Stocks, Inferior iPod Knockoffs to Raise Funds To Combat Third-World Poverty
Study Reveals Fatphobia Epidemic
Skyrocketing Percentage of Americans Are Really Really Really Obnoxious About Other People’s Weight; “Maybe We’ve Been Going a Little Overboard, Releasing Five or Six Poorly Researched Studies Per Week,” Scientists Say
Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett Acknowledge Long-term Lesbian Love Affair
“Time To Stop Hiding,” Says Burnett
Conservative “Pro-Family” Organization: Homosexuality Is a Sexually Transmitted Disease
President of Organization “Just Had Sex with a Guy That One Time,” Fears He Is Now Homosexual
Collecting Cabbage Patch Minis Linked To Longer Life, Better Sex
Proud Parents Brag About How Much Time Their Sons Spend Toking Up in the Basement
“He’ll Be an Olympic Star Someday,” Says Excited Mom
All of Your Favorite Movie Stars Will Soon Be Appearing in a Movie Together, Naked
This is better. Don't you think it is better? This is better.
Because I'm just an all-around great kind of gal, I decided to help the news organizations out and hook them into some stories they could run that are not boring crap. These are the headlines I want to see, guys. I bet if you ran them, your readership would go up!
Obama on Economy: “God, Quit Whining, There Are Starving Kids in Africa”
Suggests Americans Donate Cars, Tanking Stocks, Inferior iPod Knockoffs to Raise Funds To Combat Third-World Poverty
Study Reveals Fatphobia Epidemic
Skyrocketing Percentage of Americans Are Really Really Really Obnoxious About Other People’s Weight; “Maybe We’ve Been Going a Little Overboard, Releasing Five or Six Poorly Researched Studies Per Week,” Scientists Say
Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett Acknowledge Long-term Lesbian Love Affair
“Time To Stop Hiding,” Says Burnett
Conservative “Pro-Family” Organization: Homosexuality Is a Sexually Transmitted Disease
President of Organization “Just Had Sex with a Guy That One Time,” Fears He Is Now Homosexual
Collecting Cabbage Patch Minis Linked To Longer Life, Better Sex
Proud Parents Brag About How Much Time Their Sons Spend Toking Up in the Basement
“He’ll Be an Olympic Star Someday,” Says Excited Mom
All of Your Favorite Movie Stars Will Soon Be Appearing in a Movie Together, Naked
This is better. Don't you think it is better? This is better.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 04:17 pm (UTC)I love the general concept of "jokes which are told poorly or messed up somehow," and so you'll get why I keep chuckling and changing this in my head to "I spent a few minutes surfing Google News this morning. Boy, are my arms tired!"
Conservative “Pro-Family” Organization: Homosexuality Is a Sexually Transmitted Disease
President of Organization “Just Had Sex with a Guy That One Time,” Fears He Is Now Homosexual
Win.
All of Your Favorite Movie Stars Will Soon Be Appearing in a Movie Together, Naked
I don't really have favorite movie stars! When asked if I have a crush on an actor, I say yes, my boyfriend. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 04:27 pm (UTC)Also, I am totally trying to deal with the fact that boy will be kissin' a fellow actress in a play this summer. Script says "They make out passionately" and everything. Tryyyying to deeeeal. :-O
no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 04:30 pm (UTC)Did you consider going out for the part? :)
More emoticons:
;) O.O XD
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Date: 2009-02-04 04:43 pm (UTC)The playwright is a friend of us both and the play is fun (vampires!) and I'm glad he's getting work, but still. There is a tiny primitive corner of my brain which is all RAAAARRGH. ;)
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Date: 2009-02-04 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 05:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 05:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 05:47 pm (UTC)...with Cabbage Patch Doll. Sources says that the trysts took place in Burnett's rec room, and that Andrews always brought a bong.
When asked for a comment, Andrews's husband, Blake Edwards, replied, "Hello? This is so going to be my next film."
no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 07:44 pm (UTC)Because Blake would totes say that.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-04 05:47 pm (UTC)THIS.
Also...
Date: 2009-02-04 06:09 pm (UTC)Collecting Cabbage Patch Minis Linked To Longer Life, Better Sex
Does this apply to full-size CPKs, too, or just the Minis? If it's the former, I'll be sure to let Tracy's mom know...
no subject
Date: 2009-02-05 02:41 pm (UTC)