(no subject)

I think I’m going to print off a bunch of copies of this article, or the relevant statistics therein, to hand out to the MASSPIRG folks and all those other path-blocking guilt-tripping people with the wide eyes and ingenuous smiles that I meet on the sidewalks like every damn day in spring and summer. I kind of don’t even want to admit how loony those people drive me. This is, of course, because I am ludicrously susceptible to guilt trips. If I can’t spare a moment for the environment, I must be a terrible person who bears the entire weight of global warming on her shoulders! So my thought process runs.

So yeah. I am happy to have documentation that justifies my seething, poorly suppressed loathing of those clipboard-bearing Stepford coeds. I seriously am going to make little statistics-laden flyers and, when confronted with a chirpy little voice asking me if I can spare just a minute to save AIDS-afflicted polar bears from illiteracy in the rainforests, I am going to smile brightly and say “Sorry! I can’t. Here’s why.” And then I am going to shove my own pamphlet at them, and watch as their lacquered happyfaces become interestingly distorted in their confusion. And I will be happy.

Thanks, Slate! About 75% of your other articles from today pissed me off, but this one is A+!