Wanted: babydaddy

[slammerkinbabe]

So for awhile, λ and I have been wanting to become parents. I guess some of you have been hearing us talk about this quite a bit, in emails and the like, but I've been fairly circumspect about it on LJ. It's taken us a long time to make the decision. Of the two of us, I'm the one who's most wanted to experience a pregnancy and actually give birth to a baby, and yet, as you all know, my genetic contribution is... shall we say... quirky. It took me a long time just to develop enough self-respect to say that risk of bipolar or no, my genes weren't so terrible that it would be child abuse to pass them on to another living human being.

But we decided, at last. We're looking to be parents.

This, as you can imagine, is harder for lesbian couples than for straights.

We've looked into all our traditional options: adoption, sperm bank, even the fledgling technology by which ova can be converted into sperm (too fledgling, sadly, to be workable right now. Maybe in ten years.) We've talked them all over, but with every option we run into the same problem: the cost. God almighty, the cost. We're well aware that raising a child requires significant financial security. But just *getting* a child, if you're lesbians, can cost tens of thousands of dollars. How are you supposed to have the money to raise a kid if you're spending all your money on getting a kid?

So we have a proposition for you, males of this friends list. And yes, the innuendo you're reading into "proposition" there is intended. :)

We want to have a baby the natural way. You know, man, woman, candles, soft music.

We just need the guy.

I know this is going to sound irrational to a lot of people, but allow me to present my reasoning for doing it this way herein:

1. Actual sex, when you calculate the time of the month for it correctly, is more likely to result in pregnancy than turkey-bastering it.
2. It's also more likely to produce girls, which λ and I would prefer as we worry about the lack of an in-home role model for boys. (I don't know why real sex is more likely to produce girls. It's something about the comparative weight of X and Y chromosomes and the relative rates of force produced by a turkey baster and, erm, the real deal. I don't really get it, but you can read up on it if you're curious.)
3. I don't have many IRL male friends. My circle of local friends has sort of turned into a lesbian knitting circle. We could put out an ad in the paper for willing sperm donors, and then start an arduous process of researching -- or we could ask the male friends I have on LJ, many of whom I adore, if they'd be willing.
4. You get to have sex with me, the hottest lesbian in Boston, at least if the wooing of Mr. 7/11 Chili Cheese Dog is any indication. :)
5. I've never had sex with a guy. I'm curious. (It may not sound like a very good reason, but hell, people, admit it -- you'd be curious too.)

We're not ready to have kids right this minute, of course, so please don't start booking your plane tickets or anything. It will probably take at least six months and probably more like a year before we feel like we have all our (rubber) ducks in a row. But I do want to have kids before I'm out of my 20s, and I'm heading into the back side of my third decade now. Mostly I just wanted to suss out my flist's interest, see if anyone wanted to volunteer.

So let me know, either here in the comments or at booksomeblonde at gmail dot com. Your role in the kid's life could be as much or as little as you wanted it to be (providing you don't want full custody), and if you're gay and really, really aren't up for sex with a girl, well, we'd consider turkey-bastering it. Though frankly I believe I am hot enough to convert the most dedicated gay guy. ;) You wouldn't receive any money, except possibly a plane fare out if you needed it, but you would have done us a great favor, and you could play a role in the child's life, as I said. This would be a great deal for someone who didn't feel quite ready for fatherhood, but wanted to assume like an uncle's role or something. And you'd never have to worry about your biokid's well-being or happiness. We intend to be the best parents anyone could possibly be. We really have been talking this over for years.

Any takers?

ETA:

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!

Comments

[fairoriana.livejournal.com]

Wow! I wonder if the baby's birthday might be April 1st?

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

I don't think so. Like I said, we're looking to start trying in six months to a year -- I doubt it'll be either three months or a year and three months.

[crschmidt.livejournal.com]

I'm sure you're aware of the date. Given that, I'll stop smirking (Okay, stop smirking in the particular way I am right now -- I'll still smirk) after the date changes.

(Though it is past the typical noon deadline for the end of April Fools, I'll admit.)

More seriously though, If you think you're hot enough to convert the most dedicated gay guy, thus believing that a gay male can be converted in this way, I believe that I would have to then believe that I could convert you with my mad lovin' skills. So I'm not a valid candidate :)

[tornyourdress.livejournal.com]

I hope you get lots of offers. And enjoy the sex. :)

[jadasc.livejournal.com]

The sheer number of people who would have to give their approval puts me near the back of the list.

[docmanhattan.livejournal.com]

I have this hilarious vision of you deciding between "finalists" for biological fathers via lj-poll.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

How did you know that was the next stage?!

[docmanhattan.livejournal.com]

"And that, Sweetheart, is why your father is a wombat."

[fanboy-of-zeus.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

Yikes, fanboy, sorry -- my mistake below! I accidentally hit a button and deleted you!

[fanboy-of-zeus.livejournal.com]

No, I deleted it - didn't want to put the burden on you to do so :)

[moondispatches.livejournal.com]

Hahahahahaha!

[archaica.livejournal.com]

No, no, that is why her father is really Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

No, no one really picks the Julie/Carol options on my polls unless the option says something like "You talk about Julie/Carol too much."

That said, if there were some way for me to get pregnant by Julie Andrews and Carol Burnett, I would not need an LJ poll to help me make *that* decision. Six seconds after I was made aware of the option I would be pregnant with the only child with three biological mothers known to humankind.

[archaica.livejournal.com]

I'm imagining there'd be some sort of seed pod involved.

[ludickid.livejournal.com]

I've never had sex with a guy. I'm curious.

Man, way to give every conceivable (har har) candidate a serious case of performance anxiety...

[roseyv.livejournal.com]

The moment I read this post, my first thought was of you (Leonard), Andie, and a series of posts many years ago that ended with the words "But hey, free sperm!"

And then I smiled quietly to myself.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

:) We are in fact planning on having kids. And it sure is cheaper to do it by asking male friends for sperm than any other way. But we'll risk turkey-bastering it. :)

By the way, I cna't tell if i got Katie -- she left a comment that seemed like a sincere if light-hearted response -- I thought it might be facetious -- but then deleted it. I hope I didn't trick her and in so doing hurt her feelings!

I'm screening this comment and yours because it hasn't *technically* been outed as a prank yet. :)

[servingsize.livejournal.com]

Is this an April Fool's post?

(Someone had to ask!)

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

What a question! I am offended, sir.

[servingsize.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't think it was, but the headline "Wanted: A babydaddy" made me nervous. Good luck with the baby making...I think mansex is the best!

[dancing-crazy.livejournal.com]

Hurrah for mansex!

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

:) I forgot that sarcasm, however lightheartedly meant, doesn't translate on the Internet.

This is in fact a prank... although we do want to have kids someday, and may in fact adopt a technique similar to this in terms of getting a hold of sperm for all I know at the moment, I wouldn't post such a request on a public filter.

[dancing-crazy.livejournal.com]

If I had a penis, I would do it. This may have been a joke, but this isn't. If I had the ability to... contribute, that way, I would. And, I think that child is going to be extremely lucky.

(edited to say--eventually)

(no pressure)

(I'm not Jewish or anything)

(HAVE BABIES! You're my only married friend!!!)

[dancing-crazy.livejournal.com]

BTW, sex with a guy? I dunno. Now that I've had it with a woman, I can say, really, you get the better... er... end. Of the deal.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

Either I missed a post or you just did an excellent job of pranking me back. :) Email me a link to the post I missed in the event that I did?

[dancing-crazy.livejournal.com]

;) happy April's Fools

[life-on-queen.livejournal.com]

I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate April Fool's Day. Hate.

But I have to admit, this is the best one I've seen today.

[fanboy-of-zeus.livejournal.com]

I usually hate it too (too many years of mean pranks being played on me as a kid), but Kylie does have such a way of coming up with stuff that's actually funny...

Also, your icon makes me wish I hadn't lent my BSG DVDs to my sister; Starbuck = awesome.

[everypoembreaks.livejournal.com]

Happy April Fool's Day to you too. ;]

[drbuzzkill.livejournal.com]

You're horrible. :)

You actually had me going right up until 'candles and soft music'.

[thirtiesgirl.livejournal.com]

Hand me that strap on dildo, dammit, and I'll see if I can't squeeze out a few sailors!