slammerkinbabe | (no subject)

Crushed by what I've just learned about what LJ has now become. I created a DreamWidth, username still slammerkinbabe*, and am trying to export my LJ to there. I haven't been using this regularly for a long-ass time anyway but I still have no words for how sad I am that my happy place has turned into this. My future plans wrt whether I'll delete this account entirely, cross-post sometimes, etc. are nebulous. I feel like I need to spend a little time mourning. I know I sound super melodramatic** but it's kind of hard for me to overstate how important LJ was when I was in my twenties and figuring out who I was and how to navigate the world. I went through a lot of crappy stuff in that time but LJ was always the place I came back to to breathe and find the good. And to stick my head in the sand, too, sometimes, depending on what life required. But it was nice sand and a nice place and I had friends here and I had a voice and a home. And of course all of that is inextricable from _____ness, because I am _____, and I was as open about that here as I was about everything else, and now to be told that is not allowed here, that I am only allowed to be me as long as it doesn't conflict with fucking Russian law, and by the way, just be grateful you're not in a fucking concentration camp!*** -- it's a lot. Anyway. See some of you on DreamWidth. I am really unhappy about this.
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*IT WAS NEVER EVEN A GOOD USERNAME but I was happy here anyway.
**Though not as much so as I did before I deleted the original ending to this post!
***OH NO DO I NEED TO BLACK-BOX OUT THE SWEARS TOO I'M NOT SURE BECAUSE THE BINDING TERMS OF SERVICE ARE IN RUSSIAN.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I guess I haven't read as much about it in as much detail as I maybe should have but... don't we have to? Isn't it against the new TOS to be openly queer on LJ? I mean I'm sure enforcement will be selective and scattershot, but I can't hang around somewhere knowing I either have to duck back into a closet I exited 15 years ago or worry my whole journal is going to be deleted without warning.

I'm really going to miss LJ though. Even though I've barely been here for years. It was so lovely when I did stop by to see, in addition to the few friends who had stayed, the same layout and the same mood theme and the same 172 icons I never had to pare down because I have a permanent account. The icon thing is really making me sad -- I have such fond memories of making them over the years. I'd love to stay here but I don't see how I can.