slammerkinbabe: (no wai)
Man, Ring-a-Ling is in top form today. Out there on her balcony on her cell phone, really belting it out. Grandma is in the hospital, and Ring-a-Ling is ruminating on the will:

"And to hear her talk about it it's like, it's like it's a million dollars, like, what does she need ten thousand dollars for? What is she, she's a fucking, she's seriously a fucking drug addict, okay what does she need the ten thousand dollars that Angie's dying wish was that it goes to me. [Note: Angie is not the one in the hospital at present, as far as I can tell.] And the car, like, what the fuck does she need two cars for? She drives around all day doing fucking Oxy-Contin and she needs two cars? It's just, the selfishness, the, I don't get it. She's like walking around the hospital and she's not even dead yet, okay. I don't think she should be allowed to be there. And I said to Grandma, I said, look, I'm not asking for a thing for myself, just promise me you're not going to give her a fucking dime, okay? Not a fucking penny, because she's a drug addict and she has no job and no sense of responsibility. And I said I don't care about me, just promise me, nothing to her, all right? Because ever since I was little, right, she's just, she's just ugh! Such a bitch. She has no sense of responsibility, and she LIES, I'm serious, the other day I saw her at the hospital and she was like "YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH ERIC" and I'm like, Jesus Christ, her and fucking Javier broke up fucking fourteen, fifteen months ago, so GET OVER IT, and what are you crying about? and I can't believe she'd do this with the car though..."

λ and I are packing up to move in a week. It's going to be so sad to say goodbye to Ring-a-Ling, she's better than any soap opera I've ever heard of.
slammerkinbabe: (boggle)
You know, for all the rants I have heard from Ring-a-Ling about her boyfriend (today's rant is that he is a "sick fuck who needs to see a psychiatrist, go look in the phone book it starts with a p, even though I know you probably think it starts with an s, but it's in the phone book they're all over the city and you need to go look one up because you are a sick fuck, seriously mentally sick in the head"), I have never quite been able to discern whether it is always the same guy that she is talking about, or whether she really just has this much bad luck in the guy department.

I suppose it's none of my business, but honestly, I can't help hearing it, and if I could, believe me, I would. Barring that, after awhile you do start wondering about the full and coherent narrative, you know?
slammerkinbabe: (bitch please)
It is 1 am. Here is what I have been hearing outside my window for the last half hour:

RING-A-LING, VERY VERY LOUDLY: "...so my roommates are like TOTAL ALCOHOLICS and they get drunk like ALL THE TIME, and I don't mind so much I mean like because I get drunk sometimes too, right? But they get drunk like ALL THE TIME, and they're REALLY LOUD and sometimes, like? They're naked. I'm not shitting you, they come home and they just STRIP in the middle of the apartment and I'm like HELLO?! Like, I don't NEED to SEE that, mkay? So then I have to get them dressed and they're all -
[SFX: In rapid succession, we hear a ::skrinch::, a ::crsh:: and a squeal of tires.]
CAR ALARM 1: WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO WEEOO
CAR ALARM 2: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
RING-A-LING, hollering, presumably to the car alarms: Hey, SHUT THE FUCK UP!
RANDOM GUY IN OTHER APARTMENT: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
RING-A-LING: HEY! SHUT UP YOUR FUCKING CAR!
RANDOM GUY: IT'S NOT MY FUCKING CAR!
RANDOM GUY 2 IT'S MY CAR! Hold on -
RING-A-LING: SHUT IT THE FUCK UP!
RANDOM GUY 1 OR 2: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
RING-A-LING: FUCK YOU!
CAR ALARM 1: ::falls silent::
CAR ALARM 2: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
RING-A-LING: FUCK!
A BUNCH OF DRUNK COLLEGE GUYS: ::are passing by::
A BUNCH OF DRUNK COLLEGE GUYS: ::start mimicking both Ring-a-ling and the car alarm::
ONE DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: Oh my GAHD, like shut the fuck UP!
YET ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY, whom I eventually concluded was laughing: Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH HOOH HOOH HOOH
STILL ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: Ah, man, I don't feel so -
DRUNK COLLEGE GUY #764: Oh, no, man, don't -
STILL ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: ::vomiting noises::
DRUNK COLLEGE GUY #764: Oh, man, NOT ON THE SUBARU! NOT ON THE FUCKING SUBARU, MAN!
CAR ALARM 2: WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAH
YET ANOTHER DRUNK COLLEGE GUY: Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH! Eh-HOOH!
KYLIE: ::buries her head under the pillow and prays for the apocalypse::

That's life in a student ghetto for you, I guess.

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