OMG ALEXIS MAKAYLA
WAS KIDNAPPED BY A DRAGON.
Sort of a gay-looking dragon, with smart little buckled shoes and a lot of shiny beaded necklaces. But SHE WAS KIDNAPPED! BY A DRAGON!
What actually happened was that I left her on my desk last night because I have a semi-permanent computer now, and this morning my boss saw her. For REASONS I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, he took her AWAY from my desk and decided that she should be placed on my other boss's desk, next to my other boss's stuffed dragon, to "KEEP THE STUFFED DRAGON COMPANY". Since when has KIDNAPPING A YOUNG GIRL AND PLACING HER IN THE CARE OF A FIERCE DRAGON BEEN CONSIDERED AN APPROPRIATE THING TO DO, I ask you?!
My poor Alexis Makayla! I had to rescue her. I had to apply the force of all my intellect and reason to unlock the mystery of her location1
and blaze a trail to her castle on my valiant steed and vanquish the terrible dragon2
who held my friend hostage.
I think this is the point in the story where I am supposed to marry her, but I am already married, so I do not think that will work. Instead I should probably go to Burger King for lunch again today and get another kids' meal and adopt another Cabbage Patch Mini in the process, and then offer Alexis Makayla my daughter's hand in marriage. (Note that Alexis is my FRIEND, not my DAUGHTER. It is not incestuous.)
Dude, I so have to do this. I don't even want Burger King for lunch today, but I have to do this. You know, I used to occasionally go to Burger King and get a kids' meal because I like having a smaller meal there, but I would give the toy away to a small child. Today, I think I am probably going to wind up buying a kids' meal, taking the toy, and giving the meal to a small child. Or a homeless person.
YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.
I will update with a picture of Alexis Makayla and her bride after lunch!1Ask the girl who sits next to me if she knew what had happened to it.2Ask my boss politely if I could have it back, and offer thanks when the answer was yes, plus an apology for actually bothering to ask her about the Cabbage Patch Mini doll in the first place.